Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
