so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
