Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize