Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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