Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Small penises have feelings too.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
