I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
