i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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