living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize