The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
