Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
