i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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