Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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