Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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