on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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