Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
