Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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