just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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