i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
