You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she looked like the before picture.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
