I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
