Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
this will be a night to untag.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
