I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
as a side note pls kill me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
