His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
