I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
