One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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