If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she smelled like a LAN party
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
