sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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