Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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