Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
