I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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