It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
