the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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