Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
