ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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