they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How's work?
Spinning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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