In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
