So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
