She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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