Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
