Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
