Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
