Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
