Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
