drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I will be naked everywhere
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
