Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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