Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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