if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Come share oat with me in your robe
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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