you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
