Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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