Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
