Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
