hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's blow job season.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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