i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As shirtless as possible
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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