I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
