Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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