Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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