So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
