so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
