I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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