I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
