Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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