She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
