So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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