How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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