He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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