its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
