the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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