I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
