I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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