yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
