Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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